How to Talk about Food and Bodies Without Shame
Our culture is steeped in messages that moralize food and dictate what bodies are deemed acceptable. These messages seep into our everyday conversations—often without us even realizing it. But the way we talk about food and bodies matters. Words can either perpetuate shame or foster a more compassionate and accepting relationship with ourselves and others.
1. Drop the Good vs. Bad Food Labels
Instead of saying, “I was so bad for eating that dessert,” try, “I enjoyed that dessert.” Food doesn’t have a moral value. Labeling certain foods as “bad” or “junk” fuels guilt and shame around eating. Instead, focus on food as nourishment—not just physically, but emotionally and culturally, too.
2. Ditch Body-Related Compliments
Comments like “You look so skinny!” or “Wow, have you lost weight?” reinforce the idea that smaller bodies are more valuable. Instead, offer compliments that focus on qualities unrelated to appearance, like “You seem so happy!” or “I love your energy today.”
3. Be Mindful of Self-Talk
The way we talk about our own bodies influences those around us. If you catch yourself saying, “I need to burn off that meal,” or “I hate my thighs,” pause and reframe. What would you say to a friend? Practicing self-compassion in your own language can help shift the narrative for others, too.
4. Challenge Diet Talk in Social Settings
Diet talk is everywhere—at family gatherings, in the workplace, even among friends. If someone says, “I’m being so bad for eating this,” you might respond with, “You’re allowed to enjoy your food without guilt.” Shifting the conversation away from dieting helps create a safer, more positive environment for everyone.
5. Teach Kids Neutral Language Around Food & Bodies
Children absorb messages about food and bodies early on. Instead of saying, “You have to eat your veggies to be healthy,” try, “Veggies help your body feel strong.” Instead of “You can have dessert if you’re good,” try, “Dessert is part of the meal.” Neutral, non-restrictive language fosters a more intuitive and trusting relationship with food.
6. Recognize and Unlearn Internalized Bias
Many of us have absorbed fatphobic and diet-culture-driven messages over time. It takes work to unlearn them. Follow weight-inclusive, HAES-aligned voices, read about the harms of diet culture, and practice questioning thoughts that equate thinness with health or worth.
7. Support a Weight-Inclusive Approach to Health
Instead of assuming someone’s health based on their size, recognize that health is multi-dimensional and cannot be determined by weight alone. When discussing movement, focus on how it makes someone feel rather than its impact on body size. When talking about food, center joy, satisfaction, and nourishment over restriction.
Final Thoughts
Shifting the way we talk about food and bodies isn’t always easy, especially in a world that constantly reinforces diet culture. But small changes in language can make a big impact—on ourselves, on those we love, and on the next generation. Let’s create conversations that promote respect, autonomy, and kindness over shame.